DENISE WAS RIGHT – BITCHES ARE AWFUL! By Liz Coleman

We've just come back from an early evening walk in Richmond Park.  I went straight from work wearing a cream jacket and creamy silk scarf (all ice cream colours, get the picture...) 
 
Jazz ran like a maniac off lead.  Then finally found a muddy pool in a hollow where she drank..... and waded... and lay down to cool, and finally over rolled in the mud to be doubly sure she was well-coated, and nose dived into the mud for a face pack.
 
Nick (very stylish in cream chinos and a white polo shirt) copped the first wave of shaking.  She settled up with me later.
 
Then she settled in the back of the car (all cream, very nice) and knocked £1,000 off the resale value. 
 
We got her home and NIck washed off the worst of it in the garden. Not wholly finished, but Jazz found the back door was not locked and was halfway up the stairs before anyone caught her.  Guess what colour our carpets and walls were (before this little incident...).
 
She's now showered and conditioned and cadging cheese from the table by laying her head on my hand like butter wouldn't melt (little trollop!).  And she spent the whole journey home growling and woofing and generally telling the world how glad she was to be a DOG! 
 
Little s-d.  Are you sure there's no returns policy? 

(Sadly Liz has no photos of this little escapade, what a shame!)

BITCHES ARE AWFUL……..THE STORY CONTINUES….

This ones for you Liz. You could have started something here!!



After reading the article on the site about "bitches are awful", I have to tell you a couple of quick stories that will back that assumption up.

When Lass wants anything she usually goes to Angie as she is a softer touch than me. Lass usually goes upstairs to bed around quarter to ten. This night she came back down to get Angie. Angie followed her up to the bedroom, Lass looked up at the blinds, Angie closed them and went to walk away. Lass stood there, still looking up, the curtains were still opened. Angie closed them, Lass went to bed all happy. The words finger, wrapped and around sprung to mind.

Then there was the other occasion when I was on late turn at work. Her Ladyship started her "playing up" routine that means she wants a walk, and she wants it now. Anyway, Angie didn't want to take both of them out on her own, so she ignored Lass. Eventually Lass gave up, went over to her bed in the living room, pawed and lifted it until it was facing the wall, then promptly lay down, staring at the wall and ignored Angie for the next couple of hours.....

Our thanks to Garvan, Angie, Lass and Bert for that contribution.